Satis

in response to Gertrude’s Prayer, as well as Havisham by Carol Ann Duffy:

Mother, I dreamed I walked
through a live minefield, and each mine
a heart.  They were colouring the air
with blood and purple muscle.
I walked on.  I knew that they
were none of them mine.

Mother, you feasted on me.
I was the wedding cake you never cut.
What is this sick beauty, Mother,
this Chelsea grin you carved into my face?
Mother, you taught me how to smile.

Mother, you forgave me.
Would that I could forgive you.
You saved me from grief
but I would fain have my heart back,
not this strange jewel you pinned to my breast.
I may have loved you once.  I must have been
too young to remember.

Mother, you left me a nightmare
of stopped clocks, a horror of spiders.
The day I was wed, the mirror showed me you
in my yellow wedding gown, death’s-head bride.
The flowers already crumbling in my rotting hands.

A/N: Despite Burge’s dislike of Charles Dicken’s females, I’ve always thought Estella and Miss Havisham to be two of the most fascinating characters in the book.  So when Melly wrote her Gertrude’s Prayer, I tried to respond from Hamlet’s point-of-view but couldn’t (or wouldn’t.  It’s hard when you keep thinking of Kenneth Branagh).  So I simply jumped texts.

The ‘Chelsea grin’ reference is for Melissa.