Fanfiction is a very bad habit I have never been able to cure myself of, much to the sinister delight of many who live alongside me. Even after I abandoned my now-defunct account on Fanfiction.net, fanfic kept forcing itself out of my throat. I have given up resisting it, even though it earns me neither money nor critical acclaim and is generally a waste of my time (and of others’, who waste a lot of time being happified by it.)

Neither the characters nor the fandoms listed below belong to me; I lay no claim to what I can never achieve, at least not right now when I’m stuck playing in their sandbox.  Rife with spoilers, too – but you wouldn’t be here if you cared about that sort of thing, now would you?

My personal top ten: Anniversary, Back In Black, Convalescence, Death Proof, Five Things That Never Happened To Nakatsu, The Happiness Of Having Her With Me Unto Death, Nine Million Bicycles In Beijing, The Paths Of The Dead, The Seven People You Meet In Mexico, Solving Your Life One Problem At A Time.

Collections

Cochinita Pibil
A Robert Rodriguez Trilogy. Three stories from Sin City, El Rey and Mexico.

Zombies Invade Olivia’s Literature Set Texts
Exactly what it says on the tin.

After Math

Collide
With the help of Howie Day’s lyrics, the trio find a balance in their complex trigonometric relationship. Written for Wenny’s birthday, can be considered a sequel to What Happened After Math.

Everything is Imperfect
Alex keeps ruining Maureen’s life. One-way Alex/Maureen.

National Service
A short snippet of Ben and Alex’s life in the grand army of Singapore. Crack, really.

The Older One
Drabble. A rare look inside the head of Patricia.

Performance Task
Claire’s birthday fic. Alex and Maureen go on an unusual journey to a hospital for the love of Lyla (and their literature project). One-way Alex/Maureen.

Rain
A short, never-before-published ficlet about our two favourite quiet people in the rain. Slightly Alex/Grace.

Sins
Alex/Lyla and their seven sins.

Triptych
A triptych is a series of three pictures that are connected in some way. Ben/Alex/Grace.

What Happened After Math
A nine-part fic that picks up six years after the events of After Math. Fundamentally Ben/Alex/Grace, but it has a bit of everyone else too.

Yvonne Goes To JC
A brief continuation.

Alice In Wonderland

Her Tea Runs In My Veins
For life is short as shortbread, and cold water so stale.

An Inspector Calls

Fire, Blood and Anguish
During the blitz, Sheila recalls the Inspector’s words. This may be the only AIC fic in the entire world, I think.

Angel

Illyria
Much as I hate to declare, it’s an actual poem.  Written to Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’.

Artemis Fowl

Business and Pleasure
Artemis never mixes business and pleasure. Jack finds them synonymous. Sparrowfowl, crossover between Pirates of the Caribbean and Artemis Fowl.

Consultation
Drabble. Artemis and Holly keep in touch. One-way A/H.

Bones

Nine Million Bicycles In Beijing
Vincent Nigel-Murray, intrepid English DJ; his workplace, the Lab; his colleagues, all clinically insane; the love of his life, whose toothpick fixation is far from healthy.  Lab!verse, Wendell/Vincent.  ‘Nine Million Bicycles’ is by Katie Melua.

Discworld

Agnes Sets Up
Drabble. Crossover between Good Omens and the Witches Arc. Agnes gets it all going.

Bovines with Bananas
Drabble. The Librarian manages, even in different bodies.

The Caffeinated Lifestyle
Seven snapshots of coffee and cameras. Otto/Maladicta.

Calcium
Drabble. Susan deals with the cookie monster.

A Hogswatch Carol
Six scenes of various characters in the snowglobe that is Hogswatch on the Disc.

Klatchian is the New Black
Drabble. Love means not interrupting.

A Lifetime Of Carols
Samuel Vimes Jr., piano-playing Watchman.  Written on request for Dude.

Operation Adopt-a-Stray
Drabble. Death has a mission. Susan is exasperated.

The Paths of the Dead
Aragorn finds himself in the Chalk in urgent need of an undead army. Crossover between Lord of the Rings and the Tiffany Aching arc.

Running in the Family
Drabble. Crossover between Good Omens and Thief of Time. War goes to see War.

Seamstresses Have Long Memories
Rosemary Palm and Havelock Vetinari go back a long way.

Shepherd and Shepherdess
Drabble. Tiffany, looking for a lost lamb, meets the real shepherd.

Wedding Iconographer
Otto is always the one taking the pictures. William/Sacharissa.

Fables

Convalescence
Blue loses his arm to the Arrow of Dire Fate.  One-way Blue/Rose, unrequited; Bigby/Snow to some extent.  Warning for extensive and pretentious references to Sylvia Plath.  Written by voracious request for Claire.

From Dusk Till Dawn

After El Rey
Alternate ending in which Seth and Kate go to El Rey together. Seth/Kate. Part of the Robert Rodriguez Trilogy. Warning for swearing and a pairing that may constitute paedophilia.

Good Omens

Agnes Sets Up
Drabble. Crossover between Good Omens and the Witches Arc. Agnes gets it all going.

Running in the Family
Crossover between Good Omens and Thief of Time. War goes to see War.

Great Expectations

The Happiness Of Having Her With Me Unto Death
“Death becomes her,” added Estella, “as it will not become you.”  Written for the ‘Zombies Invade Olivia’s Literature Set Texts’ series.

Satis
Or, Estella’s dream.

Hanazakare no Kimitachi e

Five Things That Never Happened To Nakatsu
What the title says. Sano/Mizuki, Nakatsu/Mizuki, Sano/Mizuki/Nakatsu, even some Sano/Kagurazaka thrown in for the heck of it. You name it, we got it.

Harry Potter

Life and Death in Libraries
Remus thinks he’s going to die. Sirius doesn’t give a damn.  Sirius/Remus.

The Witching Hour
Midnight at 12 Grimmauld Place, and nobody is getting any sleep. Remus/Tonks, Ron/Hermione, implied Snape/Lily. Angst, humour, romance: it’s all here in this house.

Inception

Back In Black
“Nope,” says Arthur.  “This is rock n’ roll.  Now hit it.” Rock Band AU, Arthur/Eames, Cobb/Mal.

Inglourious Basterds

Solving Your Life One Problem At A Time
In which Donny pulls a Sweeney Todd, Wicki gives career counselling and Utivich discovers a new calling in life. Un-Kino!AU, Donny/Utivich.

King Kong

Triptych
Three ways Jack saw Ann. Driscoll/Darrow.

Lord of the Rings

The Paths of the Dead
Aragorn finds himself in the Chalk in urgent need of an undead army. Crossover between Lord of the Rings and the Tiffany Aching arc.

Neverwhere

Old Blood
Hunter dislikes old people. Implied Hunter/The Earl

Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Psycho
Drabble. What Sands saw in her. Sands/Ajedrez.

The Seven People You Meet In Mexico
Down south of the border, El and Sands run into some familiar figures. Crossover between OUATIM and Sandman. Part of the Robert Rodriguez Trilogy. Warning for Sands’ nasty mouth.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Business and Pleasure
Artemis never mixes business and pleasure. Jack finds them synonymous. Sparrowfowl, crossover between Pirates of the Caribbean and Artemis Fowl.

Predators

If There’re Seasons
They’re the only two humans on the planet.  And they want off it.  Royce/Isabelle.

Proof

Death Proof
“Catherine was convinced that she could solve the apocalypse mathematically.” Written for the ‘Zombies Invade Olivia’s Literature Set Texts’ series.

Rent

Family Values
Gail thinks she knows the new girl in town. Crossover between Sin City and Rent. Part of the Robert Rodriguez Trilogy.

Markèd
Mark discovers it isn’t cameras that he ought to be shooting with.  Crossover with Wanted.  Written on request for Natalie.

Sandman

The Seven People You Meet In Mexico
Down south of the border, El and Sands run into some familiar figures. Crossover between OUATIM and Sandman.

Sin City

Family Values
Gail thinks she knows the new girl in town. Crossover between Sin City and Rent. Part of the Robert Rodriguez Trilogy.

Stubs

Percentage
Amigo has vocabulary issues. Amigo/Popcorn Boy.

V for Vendetta

Anniversary
In the months after V’s death, Evey has to come to terms with the fact that he’s gone forever…or is he? V/Evey.

Wanted

Markèd
Mark discovers it isn’t cameras that he ought to be shooting with.  Crossover with Rent.  Written on request for Natalie.

Epic Crossovers

A&A&A Boarding School
The most epic work of fanfiction I have ever been involved in – 34 chapters, 7 major fandoms and a list of characters that started at 45 but kept expanding. A huge excuse for my sister and me to hurl as many loved characters as possible into a giant crossover that has students from a multitude of fandoms battling it out against classroom enmity, sadistic teachers, the Phantom of the Opera and each other.

Also, as an accompanying piece of work: An A&A&A Christmas